I Could Be Wrong About This...
The other day I was reading in Acts 10 and 11 and I started to have a realization about myself and our culture in general. I think it is worth sharing. My point here won't simply be spiritual, so don't let a disinterest in spirituality/religion keep you from reading on.
But before I get to my point, here's what happened in this passage: God ordained a meeting between the Apostle Peter (a Christ-following Jew) and Cornelius, a Gentile who had a high level of reverence for the God of Israel. In their meeting, the Holy Spirit is poured out on the believing Gentiles, just as it had been in Judea among proselytized Jews. Upon returning to Jerusalem, the Apostles question Peter in an accusatory manner about his closeness and unity with unclean Gentiles on this journey (physical and moral purity was a key distinguishing cultural characteristic of Jews, as non-Jews were not God's chosen people and were considered unclean). He recounted the story to them, ending with the pronouncement about the Holy Spirit and stating that if God was working in such a fashion, then he (Peter) would not stand in God's way.
How did the Apostles respond? They ceased objecting and praised God that He even granted life to the Gentiles.
We are surrounded by so much dialogue. And so much of this dialogue is focused on legitimate issues that we should focus on. Everyone talks. Everyone has a voice. This reality has potential to be a very good thing. The problem, however, is that we've lost the ability to have constructive dialogue. This is largely because we simply do not listen to voices that differ from our own. Our preconceived notions and unyielding views deafen us. All we know how to do is talk past others, try to prove them wrong and/or make them look bad, dispute, and fail to ever reconsider our own positions. We don't objectively evaluate our own views.
Who is guilty?
The answer is that all of us are. Republicans and Democrats; conservatives and liberals; old folks and young folks; poor and rich; Christians and Muslims. None of us really listen to differing views and we usually respond by condescendingly painting those with opposing views from our own with a broad brush. It is so hard for us to change our opinions about anything, regardless of what evidence or data we are faced with. Instead of changing our minds, we either twist and pervert data to reinforce our worldviews or we accuse the presenters of that info of doing so.
We live in a world increasingly defined by self-autonomy. This means that everyone defines what is right or wrong for themselves and that meaning is found in whatever way each individual determines. Accordingly, each individual is in charge, and to have views imposed by others is an assault on self. This is why I believe that we refuse to hold any of our notions with anything short of an iron grip. To have your own views and assumptions challenged is a personal attack. To preserve our self-autonomy we close our ears and shut others out. We may talk, but it's to convince them of how good and right we are and how bad and wrong they are. True constructive dialogue has been lost in the name of pride and self-preservation. We embrace those who reinforce our thoughts and wish to silence those who challenge them.
Such as...
We see this played out most strongly in political and religious environments. Look at any issue that touches on public policy. Too many conservatives dismiss anything that suggests that global warming is a reality, or at least one that man influences; too many liberals fail to consider that pro-lifers oppose abortion out of an affirmation of the sanctity of human life instead of out of a desire to impose a cold, archaic religious view on others; too many Republicans think Democrats want a socialist economic system, and too many Democrats think that Republicans only care about the rich; too many conservatives fail to consider that there actually may be racism built into our justice and law enforcement systems; too many liberals refuse to consider that conservatives are not simply small-minded or stubborn in their reluctance to embrace progressivism. This list could go on and on.
Dialogue within the religious community is no less stagnant. There are differing views within Christianity over issues such as marriage, sexual orientation, gender identity, doctrinal understanding, roles of men and women, the role of faith in public life, etc. Within Protestantism, the lines are usually roughly drawn between evangelical and liberal Christianity. There is a staunch refusal to listen with an open mind to the views of others here just as much as within the political sphere. Each side believes that they have the moral high ground and that the other is deceived or has a misinformed understanding of scripture. To reconsider one's views is out of the question, as it would indicate weakness and a lack of conviction. As a result, dialogue lacks compassion and empathy, and is instead marked by derision and violence at worst, or silent judgment at best.
There is so much debate and conversation, but so little listening or self-examination. The more we talk, the more close-minded and ignorant we all seem to get.
LISTEN
So, what do we need to go to get past this? I don't have that answer, but I think I have a few ideas that could help. First, we've got to get over ourselves. We may be wrong, and we have to live with that. If we need to change a view then change it. It's better to have an honest change than to stay stuck in your wrongness out of principle. This is a sign of humility and an open mind. If we've never changed out minds or views on anything, then that reality is a good sign that this step applies to you.
Second, we've got to stop seeing dissenters as enemies. People can civilly disagree and have different views without one being morally or intellectually superior to another. A key practice we need to end is that of assigning ulterior motives or hidden agendas to proponents of views that differ from our own. We can honestly come to different conclusions with benign intentions, AND still be friends. We need to be able to talk to people instead of at people. We should see people as people, not obstacles or tools.
Third, learn to articulate and defend views that contrast with your own. This will do one of two things if we do it with honesty: allow us to better accept and articulate our own views, or see the merit in the other side and possibly adjust our stance.
Lastly, we need to just listen without always offering responses or rebuttals. This is something that I need to work on in general, especially with my wife! We need to see each other as humans who are worth knowing, listening to, and caring for. Swallow your pride. Listen to others. I'm not suggesting that you should violate your conscience or give up everything you stand for. However, most things aren't gospel doctrine, and if we aren't willing to consider their validity or lack of then maybe we're guilty of elevating them to that status.
We are growing further and further apart as people in spite of an ever-increasing access to idea, information, and platforms for expression. We have to be able to listen, or we risk being overcome with pride, selfishness, and complacency. The more we allow ourselves to grow deaf, the more we'll desensitize ourselves to others in general. This will certainly not make the world a better place. We have two ears and a one mouth for a reason. My challenge to you and myself is to learn to really listen to others. Other people are not generally less sincere than we are.
The Apostles of Jesus changed their views on a hugely important doctrine because they listened and accepted evidence that contradicted their notions. Are we superior to them in that we have no need to ever evaluate our thoughts and practices critically? None of us are above reproach, and none of us are infallible in the views we adopt. Being willing to reposition a stance is not a sign of weakness; it is a sign of maturity and honesty. If we are never open to the possibility that we need to modify our thought processes or opinions, then we will never have real dialogue, personal growth will be severely impeded, and peace with others will be nearly impossible.
But before I get to my point, here's what happened in this passage: God ordained a meeting between the Apostle Peter (a Christ-following Jew) and Cornelius, a Gentile who had a high level of reverence for the God of Israel. In their meeting, the Holy Spirit is poured out on the believing Gentiles, just as it had been in Judea among proselytized Jews. Upon returning to Jerusalem, the Apostles question Peter in an accusatory manner about his closeness and unity with unclean Gentiles on this journey (physical and moral purity was a key distinguishing cultural characteristic of Jews, as non-Jews were not God's chosen people and were considered unclean). He recounted the story to them, ending with the pronouncement about the Holy Spirit and stating that if God was working in such a fashion, then he (Peter) would not stand in God's way.
How did the Apostles respond? They ceased objecting and praised God that He even granted life to the Gentiles.
In other words, they adjusted their beliefs and notions based on what was revealed to them. They were wrong in what they thought, and so changed when faced with new information. They had a complete change of heart. This is a lesson that we all need to learn because it is not something that we do.
What do we actually do?
We are surrounded by so much dialogue. And so much of this dialogue is focused on legitimate issues that we should focus on. Everyone talks. Everyone has a voice. This reality has potential to be a very good thing. The problem, however, is that we've lost the ability to have constructive dialogue. This is largely because we simply do not listen to voices that differ from our own. Our preconceived notions and unyielding views deafen us. All we know how to do is talk past others, try to prove them wrong and/or make them look bad, dispute, and fail to ever reconsider our own positions. We don't objectively evaluate our own views.
Ironically, we live in a society where open-mindedness is embraced by all and practiced by none. When we talk about issues, we don't try to reach common ground or actually attempt to discern the most appropriate stances or solutions. All we want to do is to prove that we are right and that others are wrong, and usually drag others through the dirt in the process. We embrace arguments that help us and dismiss arguments that don't. We refuse to consider the possibility that we may be wrong about something or that someone else may have a better stance. In a day in which everyone can finally have a voice, we have misplaced the ability to talk and listen. Those who differ in views are dangerous enemies, and to give their thoughts credence is blasphemy or treason. Opposing views can't be listened to; they must be ignored or rebutted, and ridiculed. This is why decisiveness now seems to define every conversation. Pathetically, this is true not only in religion and politics, but even in meaningless fields like sports and entertainment.
Who is guilty?
The answer is that all of us are. Republicans and Democrats; conservatives and liberals; old folks and young folks; poor and rich; Christians and Muslims. None of us really listen to differing views and we usually respond by condescendingly painting those with opposing views from our own with a broad brush. It is so hard for us to change our opinions about anything, regardless of what evidence or data we are faced with. Instead of changing our minds, we either twist and pervert data to reinforce our worldviews or we accuse the presenters of that info of doing so.
We live in a world increasingly defined by self-autonomy. This means that everyone defines what is right or wrong for themselves and that meaning is found in whatever way each individual determines. Accordingly, each individual is in charge, and to have views imposed by others is an assault on self. This is why I believe that we refuse to hold any of our notions with anything short of an iron grip. To have your own views and assumptions challenged is a personal attack. To preserve our self-autonomy we close our ears and shut others out. We may talk, but it's to convince them of how good and right we are and how bad and wrong they are. True constructive dialogue has been lost in the name of pride and self-preservation. We embrace those who reinforce our thoughts and wish to silence those who challenge them.
Such as...
We see this played out most strongly in political and religious environments. Look at any issue that touches on public policy. Too many conservatives dismiss anything that suggests that global warming is a reality, or at least one that man influences; too many liberals fail to consider that pro-lifers oppose abortion out of an affirmation of the sanctity of human life instead of out of a desire to impose a cold, archaic religious view on others; too many Republicans think Democrats want a socialist economic system, and too many Democrats think that Republicans only care about the rich; too many conservatives fail to consider that there actually may be racism built into our justice and law enforcement systems; too many liberals refuse to consider that conservatives are not simply small-minded or stubborn in their reluctance to embrace progressivism. This list could go on and on.
Dialogue within the religious community is no less stagnant. There are differing views within Christianity over issues such as marriage, sexual orientation, gender identity, doctrinal understanding, roles of men and women, the role of faith in public life, etc. Within Protestantism, the lines are usually roughly drawn between evangelical and liberal Christianity. There is a staunch refusal to listen with an open mind to the views of others here just as much as within the political sphere. Each side believes that they have the moral high ground and that the other is deceived or has a misinformed understanding of scripture. To reconsider one's views is out of the question, as it would indicate weakness and a lack of conviction. As a result, dialogue lacks compassion and empathy, and is instead marked by derision and violence at worst, or silent judgment at best.
There is so much debate and conversation, but so little listening or self-examination. The more we talk, the more close-minded and ignorant we all seem to get.
LISTEN
So, what do we need to go to get past this? I don't have that answer, but I think I have a few ideas that could help. First, we've got to get over ourselves. We may be wrong, and we have to live with that. If we need to change a view then change it. It's better to have an honest change than to stay stuck in your wrongness out of principle. This is a sign of humility and an open mind. If we've never changed out minds or views on anything, then that reality is a good sign that this step applies to you.
Second, we've got to stop seeing dissenters as enemies. People can civilly disagree and have different views without one being morally or intellectually superior to another. A key practice we need to end is that of assigning ulterior motives or hidden agendas to proponents of views that differ from our own. We can honestly come to different conclusions with benign intentions, AND still be friends. We need to be able to talk to people instead of at people. We should see people as people, not obstacles or tools.
Third, learn to articulate and defend views that contrast with your own. This will do one of two things if we do it with honesty: allow us to better accept and articulate our own views, or see the merit in the other side and possibly adjust our stance.
Lastly, we need to just listen without always offering responses or rebuttals. This is something that I need to work on in general, especially with my wife! We need to see each other as humans who are worth knowing, listening to, and caring for. Swallow your pride. Listen to others. I'm not suggesting that you should violate your conscience or give up everything you stand for. However, most things aren't gospel doctrine, and if we aren't willing to consider their validity or lack of then maybe we're guilty of elevating them to that status.
We are growing further and further apart as people in spite of an ever-increasing access to idea, information, and platforms for expression. We have to be able to listen, or we risk being overcome with pride, selfishness, and complacency. The more we allow ourselves to grow deaf, the more we'll desensitize ourselves to others in general. This will certainly not make the world a better place. We have two ears and a one mouth for a reason. My challenge to you and myself is to learn to really listen to others. Other people are not generally less sincere than we are.
* * * * *
The Apostles of Jesus changed their views on a hugely important doctrine because they listened and accepted evidence that contradicted their notions. Are we superior to them in that we have no need to ever evaluate our thoughts and practices critically? None of us are above reproach, and none of us are infallible in the views we adopt. Being willing to reposition a stance is not a sign of weakness; it is a sign of maturity and honesty. If we are never open to the possibility that we need to modify our thought processes or opinions, then we will never have real dialogue, personal growth will be severely impeded, and peace with others will be nearly impossible.
Comments
Post a Comment