Reflections on Being a Dad

My son just turned two years old, and I have loved being a dad. I can already see his personality, habits, opinions, and idiosyncrasies forming. I can see ways that his mind is learning to work. I love when he asks questions. I love to wrestle with him. I love to take him outside. I love reading and praying with him. It is truly a fun ride.

I am also well aware of the ways in which I've already had moments of failure. I've been way too harsh and/or yelled at him in unwarranted times. I've disrespected my wife (and his mother) in front of him. I've tuned out when I should be paying attention to them. I have failed to let him see me participating in spiritual disciplines consistently.

I know what it is like having a dad around, and I know what it is like not having a dad around. Fatherhood is one of the most neglected commitments in our culture, and I think there is an argument that this reality is one of the biggest causes of familial issues and a growing lack of social health and economic mobility. For men who have families, there is no more important role you will ever have than being a husband and a father. There are few roles in which neglect or a lack of intentionality comes at such a huge price.

With all that being said, I wish to list out a few things that I want to make sure my son hears from me throughout his life. Here is a quickly written top ten:

• I love you. I want him to hear it and believe it. I want him to know the words and see the actions.
• I love your mother. He needs to know family is of utmost importance, and that my lifelong commitment and number one is her.
• I am proud of you. I want him to know when he has done well. Few things will teach him the value of time and effort better than this.
• I am disappointed in you. When he messes up, he needs to know that he did. He needs to know that it is not OK, but also that there is forgiveness.
• You can do it. He needs to know that I believe in him even when no one else-including himself-does. I want him to never fear failure.
• I'm here. I'm not going anywhere. I will never leave him or his mother. He needs to know this.
• Think about what you're doing. He needs to understand how to use his mind and not be driven by selfish impulses.
• Don't worry about them. There will always be scoffers and antagonists. Don't let them influence your behavior in a negative way.
• Look at me. He needs to be able to put down his electronic devices and be with people without thinking about those devices. Real interaction always trumps electronic immersion.
• Let's go! It's a big world! I want him to experience it. I want him to visit new cultures, appreciate history where it has happened, and enjoy all of creation.

 I'm sure if I took more time I would modify this list.  Although no spiritual components are explicitly stated, all of these are influenced by my understanding of God as Father. I can never stop telling him how important he is, how important effort and character are, how fun life is, or how great God is.